Life... now what?

Today is day 5 of me being back on a diet (Pirated Weight Watchers). I'm back on the diet because when bractune and I stepped on the scale on Sunday, there was not nearly enough of a difference between my weight at 5'6" and that of my 6'2" boyfriend. That was enough to kick my oversized ass into gear. So I've been to the gym three times this week, and I've been counting my points like a madwoman. On the plus side, the amped up physical activity has me waking up easier in the morning. On the minus side, I could eat an entire pizza right now. And I fear next week because my weight this week was close enough to the range border that I know I'm going to lose 2 of my daily points after Sunday. So, I'll be hungrier. Possibly crankier.

On the other hand, if all goes according to plan, we'll be planting the grass seed in Dave's backyard tomorrow. (If all doesn't go according to plan, we'll be doing it next weekend.) Possibly finishing up the painting in the dining room, and stripping the wallpaper from the bathroom too. It all depends on how motivated we are, I guess.

I suppose I should get back to work. It's build Friday, so things are actually pretty calm, just a lot of administrative clean up and prep for the upcoming new build on Monday.

Lunch break. Finally. I've been here since 6:30. I'll be here until 5. It'll be like this, or worse, for the rest of the week, and I'll likely be 2-3 days behind on my plan come Monday.

Why?

Remember about a month ago when I mentioned that an error in the IT deparment caused 500,000 eligible members' records to be reset to ineligible, requiring us to check every one that comes in? Well, not only haven't they fixed the problem, but it's now happened to four other plans. On top of that, the woman whom I have been helping out because her plan went wacky is out of the office for the rest of the week. So, I'm solo on her plan.

It's kinda like being a salmon. Everytime I clear an authorization from the queue, there are two more to verify. My own plan, I won't even be able to touch until after 2:00, when the east coast will close and the new requests will stop coming in.

The overtime pay is nice, but I'm exhausted.

I had horrible dreams last night that some angry customer (who had previously come at a customer service rep with a bat) had hacked into my email and set it up so all email that came to me went to him first, and he'd change important words and phrases into silly words like chipmunk before he'd let me read it. He had also set up a virus that would be released if I tried to change my passwords or do anything else to keep him out. I accidentally released the virus and destroyed my computer and part of the L: drive.

I kept waking up partially but not enough to come out of the dream. Had to actually force myself awake and get out of bed so I could accept that I hadn't really destroyed my company.

Then I fell back asleep and went to a wedding with Leonardo DiCaprio.

I have to leave my job soon. I'm sure of it now. This changes my plans. I was hoping to stick it out another year before making any major life changes, but I just don't think I can. I like the people I work with, but I'm just not happy here anymore. Partially just due to the fact that I have no interest in finance and investing in the least. Partially due to recent changes in my department, that are probably for the good, but I'm not liking the direction we're heading. Partially due to the fact that I fear the ship is sinking and I want to get off.

So what now? The plan was to use this year to get in shape and start applying to Law Enforcement agencies next spring. Okay, so what changes if I up that to this fall? I'm not in any position to relocate so I'll need to apply to Sacramento area agencies. FBI is out because I won't have the full three years of full-time, non-temporary employment that is required. Of course, that was a long shot anyway, and there's no reason I can't apply there in a couple of years... as long as I'm still under 37. There's nothing saying that I have to stay in Sacramento permanently, if hired here. I'm sure there will be some time commitment to cover their costs of putting me through the academy, but it won't be my whole life.

Of course, the final question: Is this what I really want to do with my life?

Soup is good.
Soup doesn't ask you to clear your browser history.
Soup doesn't lock you out for 15 minutes.
Soup doesn't say, "its up... uh... its down... uhh... oh wait, its up again!"
Soup is simple.

I love soup.