Drama, drama, drama

[mslulu]

I was reading this post earlier (linking to it because I think it's interesting. not really required reading for what I'm writing now.) and it talked a little about drama on LJ. This set me off pondering the nature of LJ Drama. For the record, by Drama I'm not referring to trolls popping in randomly just to piss someone off, but issues between friends or "friends" that just blow beyond belief in someone's journal, then go on to affect real life relationships, and I guess online ones too.

See, I consider my journal to be relatively drama-free. For the most part, the inter-personal conflict I tend to have online is with myself. I say relatively, because there have been incidents, but since most of my LJ friends are also RL friends, these are events/issues that would have occurred with or without the journals. In some cases, journaling actually facilitated necessary conflict and conversation where other methods of communication had failed.

And yet, I hear that there's too much drama on LJ. I hear tales of people not speaking to each other because of what friend A posted in friend B's journal about friend C, or of someone copying, relaying information from a locked post to others outside the lock, and various other behaviours which for the most part seem like things that people learn not to do once they're out of their teens. Or am I just naive and too trusting of people?

I guess I'm looking for what other people think. How do you define LJ drama? Does LJ create drama? Is the tendency toward drama directly related to the number of RL friends who read you/you read? Do you have/see a lot of conflicts occurring between non-RL friends? What steps do you take to reduce drama in your LJ? Do you see it as being more prominent amongst younger users, or is age irrelevant? Does the drama on LJ have nothing to do with LJ itself, and is just a new medium for the same BS that has been going on for years in notes passed in class, gossipy phone calls, and the like? Am I just overly naive and too trusting of peopl?

I'm just curious how others see this odd little world we have chosen to exist in.

Comments

[lograh.livejournal.com]

I think part of the LJ drama involves people not being aware of proper ettiquite rules (not just net- either). Also, people seem to forget that the majority of human communication does not involve words, and so when you try to have a discussion through solely word-based mediums (such as LJ), there is a huge component that is missing and you have to be careful not to mis-interpret the words you are seeing.

Physical age seems to be irrelevant in both of those points. Often, those who have been "online" longer tend to not have as much trouble as the newer adopters to the medium, but they still slip up every so often.

And yes, you are far too trusting of people. :)

[elisandra.livejournal.com]

What he said except for the too trusting part.

[darkmoon.livejournal.com]

LJ doesn't create drama, people create drama. LJ is just the "new" meduim for it.

It's gossip. People gossip about other people, and then the people who are being gossiped about catch wind of the gossip.

What makes LJ different from a phone call? Well, because once you put something there, it stays there indefinitely. With a phone call, once it's done it's done. LJ sits around for someone else to come by, read, and then share with someone they shouldn't be sharing with.

My solution? I try to not post anything that might be considered "gossip" and therefore create drama.

[aleeceh.livejournal.com]

darkmoon is right. LJ doesn't create drama; people create drama.

Where I have seen big problems crop up has been when someone has posted about feelings/issues/events (good or bad) in their personal relationships in too much detail, too soon, and without appropriate locking or permission. Readers did not follow the "what's in LJ stays in LJ" etiquette and talked about it amongst themselves. The subjects were understandably angry about hearing things in LJ posts or through third parties that they should have heard directly from the author first.

These things should have been journaled privately or processed directly with the parties involved before being posted publicly. There's just no need to hang all your dirty laundry out for the whole LJ universe to see. And if it's out there, no one should be shocked when people talk about what they have read.

You can't control what others do, but there are things you can do to make sure you don't create or fuel drama yourself. Be careful what you post to which audience. Be clear when you don't want what you've written discussed elsewhere. Avoid discussing what you've read with anyone but the author, especially outside LJ. Seems like pretty much common sense, but I know I watch myself even more carefully after observing some of these LJ "train wrecks" in action.

[elisandra.livejournal.com]

There is some kind of Eddie Izzard joke about people creating drama and LJ and guns hiding around the corner, but I can't find it.

[darkmoon.livejournal.com]

Another good tip that I remembered after reading yours... Don't post about any personal issues you may have with someone in LJ so that even one other person can read it unless you've talked to the subject of your post about it first.

[bridgeweaver.livejournal.com]

I think this is being made way too complex. Rule of thumb, don't post anything about someone else you wouldn't be willing to sayto them in person. The same rule applies to what you say about others with them not around. Then, if something does get back to the object of your commentary, you can stand up and say, yes, I would have said that to your face, but I was processing how to say it. This is one of those areas where life really is simpler than a lot of people make it.

[mslulu.livejournal.com]

Yes. This has always been my line of thought. Common sense and discretion should be able to eliminate most of the problem. I guess I just can't understand people who don't get this and then go on to complain that "there's too much drama on LJ."

[mslulu.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking it's way too complex too. It just baffles me that there are so many out there who have problems with this. It strikes me that any mature, sensible human being can maintain a journal without having a train wreck crash into their personal life, unless that's what they really are wanting.