On Edge

Oct. 20th, 2005 10:28 pm
mslulu: (Default)
Sitting up here alone, knowing that I don't have to get up in the morning, so I don't really have to go to bed any time soon, but feeling like I should even though I'm not tired. Just a little jittery, looking for company and finding nobody online to talk to, and too damn shy to approach anyone who isn't the usual two people I talk to online anyway. Also wondering why I'm listening to Britney Spears.

Weird for me, I guess. I'm not usually sitting around at home wanting someone to talk to. I'm pretty good with a book and a cat for company.

I thought the anonimity of the internet was supposed to make it easier for us horribly shy folk to meet people and make friends, even if they're only virtual friends. Nope. Not over here. I'm a chronic lurker. Rejection is an ugly thing to fear. Can't go sticking my head out there, or my words, to be shot down. I'm quite comfortable here on my LJ. This is my space, I can do what I want and anyone who's watching is there because they want to be. If I go into a group that isn't mine, well, that's intruding.

Huh. Followed up Britney with the Misfits. That evens things up a bit musically.

Disjointed thoughts much?

I'm pretty sure my mother managed to ruin Disneyland for me. I've discovered recently that whenever anyone mentions the place, the first image that comes to mind is not the Maus, or the Castle, or any of the cool rides. No. It's my mother with that damned frozen banana. I am scarred for life.

I had completely forgotten about my Launchcast station until this new version of YM opened it up for me and asked if I wanted to play it. I'm glad I'm listening to it again. I spent many months at E*Tard fine tuning this thing and convincing it that combining my interests of Punk, Blues and 80's Pop should not in any way produce Christian Rock. It's pretty effective now at only picking the stuff I like. And a little bizarre at times. It jumped from The Blues Brothers, Gimme Some Lovin' into Mushnik and Son from Little Shop of Horrors earlier. And then there's that whole Britney to Misfits thing.

Okay. I should probably stop rambling and go to bed, or go back to my book. Can't concentrate on one thought long enough for the book though.

Hey, Monkees! Cool!

See what I mean. Maybe I'll stop in on the NaNoWriMo forums. The gals in the Chick Lit group are pretty cool, although I'm beginning to think that what I'm writing, while Chick Lit-like in nature is probably more accurately categorized as a form of Fan Fiction. Which is a bit disturbing considering I neither read, nor write, nor have any interest in Fan Fic whatsoever.

Okay. I'll stop cluttering up everyone's friends page now. I'll probably be up for a while, if anyone's bored and up. Call, email, IM... I'm around.

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